Forgetting can have some major benefits in our lives. It’s important to know when to forget. This is best learned early so that old age is not filled with frivolous, negative memories. We are constructive when we carefully choose which memories should be discarded.
Nature provides us with some basic forgetting skills. Without them, we would hold ourselves back. For example, a one year old is learning to walk. He falls and hurts his head. Fortunately, he forgets this injury the next time he has the urge to walk. If toddlers didn’t forget such bumps they’d never master the skill of walking in an upright position. Women forget the pain of childbirth and eagerly plan another pregnancy. A young boy the pain of losing a mate and decides to marry again.
Yet certain pains must be remembered, and we use our judgment in deciding what should be remembered. Touching a hot pot on the stove is a memory worth recalling so that burned fingers don’t become a habit.
For many, work is a haven for forgetting the pressure of a chaotic home life or a lonely, barren social life. We block out disturbing memories by immersing ourselves in a demanding schedule or task. Such escape gives us a short-term solution to our problems.
Amnesia, a disease frequently manifested on soap operas, is the blocking out of all memory by people facing unbearable tragedy.
Most of us learn to handle traumatic experiences in a less dramatic way.
A technique worth learning early in life is to mix sad and vexing images with happy and satisfying memories to gain perspective. After a time, the unpleasant memories can be forgotten instead of your constantly going over them. This is an important survival tool.
Selective forgetting is helpful. It’s the trait that separates you from a computer. Learn how to pick through your memories the way you pick through a display of apples. The firm, ripe ones can nourish you emotionally, as well as physically. And you know what one bad apple can do to a barrelful.
Nature provides us with some basic forgetting skills. Without them, we would hold ourselves back. For example, a one year old is learning to walk. He falls and hurts his head. Fortunately, he forgets this injury the next time he has the urge to walk. If toddlers didn’t forget such bumps they’d never master the skill of walking in an upright position. Women forget the pain of childbirth and eagerly plan another pregnancy. A young boy the pain of losing a mate and decides to marry again.
Yet certain pains must be remembered, and we use our judgment in deciding what should be remembered. Touching a hot pot on the stove is a memory worth recalling so that burned fingers don’t become a habit.
For many, work is a haven for forgetting the pressure of a chaotic home life or a lonely, barren social life. We block out disturbing memories by immersing ourselves in a demanding schedule or task. Such escape gives us a short-term solution to our problems.
Amnesia, a disease frequently manifested on soap operas, is the blocking out of all memory by people facing unbearable tragedy.
Most of us learn to handle traumatic experiences in a less dramatic way.
A technique worth learning early in life is to mix sad and vexing images with happy and satisfying memories to gain perspective. After a time, the unpleasant memories can be forgotten instead of your constantly going over them. This is an important survival tool.
Selective forgetting is helpful. It’s the trait that separates you from a computer. Learn how to pick through your memories the way you pick through a display of apples. The firm, ripe ones can nourish you emotionally, as well as physically. And you know what one bad apple can do to a barrelful.
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